Part 2: Family Discourse

Part 2: Family Discourse- Chapter 3: Main Assignment p. 86

One very impressionable family memory for me as a kid was when my dad would play wrestle with my brother and I on the living room floor. I remember often thinking how today was the day I would stand a chance! Today was the day that I would pin Dad down! I had practiced a new move or whatever. But every time he would wrestle me for a minute and then when he won he'd just lay on top of me or my brother in a way that made you laugh uncontrollably to the point of losing your breath. You'd try to squeak out tiny surrenders through billows of laughter but to no avail. It was the kind of laughter that hurt and made your muscles feel like useless, wet noodles. Completely debilitating. But I loved every second of it. I suppose there was something about being totally helpless under this larger person, and yet trusting them to the point that you can uncontrollably laugh while being crushed beneath their weight. You just know that you are safe, and loved, and happy all at the same time. Just this complete cocktail of emotions. My dad was and is a huge part of my life. It was moments like these that opened the doors for us to have the kind of relationship we have today. And I love that I shared those moments with my brother as well. We used to be pretty bad about fighting and not getting along a whole lot as kids, but remembering moments like these has enabled us to establish a bond that we might not have been able to establish otherwise. My brother and I are best friends now and we love recalling these kinds of childhood memories together.

Part 2: Chapter 3: Exercise p. 73- "Home(page)sick"

I'm going to use this picture again! because it really captures what home felt like to me as a kid. It was humble, but cozy, and very playful and there was always something to do. As kids my brother and I, and a lot of friends from the neighborhood would find new ways to play everyday. We'd make up games, hide in new spots, play with new toys, make our own toys, act out our favorite cartoons and when we weren't outside we were playing video-games while nestled into my mom's ugly (but comfortable) couch. A place where you can be that carefree is what home means to me.

This picture represents home to me because it reminds me of my backyard during my childhood. In my childhood neighborhood, my house had the largest backyard where everyone came to jump on our trampoline, play football, and have water-gun wars. I love that a lot of my memories of home were memories of a place where I could have fun. It wouldn't be until later in my life, however, that I found out that my parents would often urge my brother and I to play outside for hours because they fought often and didn't want to expose us to their failing marriage. I appreciate that now. I appreciate that I was able to associate my backyard as a home away from the inside of my home that still provided me with a carefree childhood. My sense of home might have been a lot different if it weren't for that.

This picture represents a different type of home to me. If my literal house was my main home, and my backyard was my outer home, then my bedroom was definitely my inner home or (to put it biblically) my inner sanctuary. Imagine my surprise when my I received news of a little sister that would force my brother to bunk with me in my room... (remember those brotherly fights I mentioned?) My room was a home where the idea of carefree may have crossed the line. Despite how chaotic and messy my bedroom might have gotten as a kid, it had become a home to what makes me me. Everything else was shared, as most things will be for the rest of my life, but my bedroom was mine for a time and there was a special comfort in that messiness. Even today, as of now I have an "office/ man-cave-room" that is mine and it gives me special comfort that the rest of my home doesn't. Don't get me wrong though. That room gives a different type of comfort than the kind of comfort I get from sharing other rooms with my wife. I cherish both and I know that a day will come when I no longer have that room for myself. But I pray that I get to enjoy this space for a little longer before the pitter-patter of little feet begin to fill it. I can't wait to experience that new sense of home where I get to provide a home for my kids to experience in our own unique way.

Part 2: Chapter 3: Exercise p. 89- "Family Album"

I honestly don't have an extensive volume of family photos to reach into for this exercise without maybe traveling to Alabama. My mom has always been one for taking on the occasions that I see her while my dad will almost never appear in a photo willingly. So this might not be the most productive exercise, but I think I can still make the connections that Kuhn outlines in the text. 

This is a picture of me with my mom and siblings at a Sonic Drive-In in Madison, Alabama. I am the one in the center with the blue and orange shirt. I remember having this picture taken when I visited my mom shortly after moving to Georgia. This was probably one of the first times I had brought my then-girlfriend Brittany to Alabama to spend time with my mom. Brittany is the one behind the camera. Normally I probably would have thrown an immature fit for my mom demanding to take and retake and retake pictures over and over, but I probably didn't want to expose that dysfunction within my family to my semi-new girlfriend. I'm glad my mom pestered me into these pictures though. I can guarantee my mom has this photo stored on her phone's memory card or on the digital photo frame I got her for Christmas one year where she likely looks at it often. She's pretty sentimental like that. This photo in particular reminds me of how silly my family is and makes me laugh when I remember how my little sister would always roll around in her Heely's shoes at Sonic.

This is a picture of me with my brother, my three cousins, my best friend, and a few of my cousins' friends at a campsite in Alley Springs, Missouri. My extended family meets every year at this campsite and this photo captured one of the best years I had at that campsite. This photo reminds me of late night campfire talks, walks on muddy gravel trails to go cliff diving, and some of the closest bonds of friendship I had at that time in my life. This photo evokes desires to get some of that back. After I moved to Georgia, got a job, and started college it became a lot harder to make these trips and reconnect with these family members. In that sense this photo evokes some somber emotion when I think how I likely won't ever see some of these people again. I wish this photo had better resolution but it was a shared photo and has somehow survived years of passing between computers so I'm probably lucky to still have it. I'd be really interested to know if someone else still has this photo in fact.

                           

This is a picture of my mom and me striking a gangsta' pose at a Taco Bell in Alabama. I explicitly remember taking this picture and then looking at our "gangsta" pose afterward only to find out my mom's idea of a gangster is apparently Spock from the Star Trek series. We both laughed for so long and I remember thinking how much I loved my mom's silliness. She always knows how to make me laugh and as I've matured I've come to appreciate her silliness, not as embarrassing, but rather as an attempt to connect and bond with me. I love that she has always made that a priority in our relationship. I don't know if my mom ever got this photo. I believe she would greatly appreciate it if I sent it to her.

This is my side of the family of which my new wife is now a part! I can't imagine all of the emotions that are involved with all of the different family members in this photo. They have all gained a new family member and have watched my wife and I grow into the relationship we have today. While I can't understand right now, one day I hope to understand the feeling of bringing another person into this world and watching them grow up and become an adult. When we had this picture taken by our wedding photographer we wanted him to capture moments like these. I believe he did a great job framing our family together into a felt of different emotions and experiences. Some have looks of excitement, some of nervousness, others of joy and pride. Everyone depicted will cherish this moment in our lives with pictures like these and I'm so grateful that my family could be there to witness this stepping stone in my life.

Part 2: Chapter 3: Exercise p. 92- "Micro Scenes"

Casting Away

Joshua had returned to Georgia with the memories of his most recent conversation with Brittany still fresh on his mind. Nonetheless, he still pulled out his cell phone to ensure that their agreement to meet for the first time outside of church was real. As Joshua sat in his car debunking his doubts his mood change from happy to confused to nervous all too quickly. He had no idea what he was planning to do when he got to her house. What would he say? What would he do? What would she think? These thoughts plagued his entire drive. The nervousness mounted.

Joshua arrived, fumbling with his phone to determine where Brittany wanted him to go but he had no cell reception. As if the circumstances could not get any worse, Joshua was now lost. Then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, Brittany turns the corner and is face to face with Joshua. They had met face to face before but this was different. Tensions were high, along with the excitement and nervousness they both felt.

At this point, neither of them knew what to do until finally Joshua suggested they watch a movie. They both searched through her parent's DVD library, laughing over the disorganized array of plastic cases, half of which had the wrong disc or no disc at all. Joshua held up Cast Away in suggestion, half joking. Of course, Brittany agreed...

They sat for what felt like ages while they watched the longest movie of all time. In his uncertainty, Joshua had awkwardly spaced himself from Brittany on the couch, never even touching her, frozen in place, afraid to even shift into a more comfortable position for fear of seeming even more weird than he felt already. He looked at Brittany as she stared forward at the screen, also frozen and afraid. Joshua remained clueless and his time to leave had come. They didn't say much before Joshua leaned in for an awkward goodbye hug and then headed home.

How could he have asked for a better night?

Flat Screen Morning

Joshua woke up with that choked feeling in his throat that comes with that kind of cold. He headed downstairs to the sound of excited voices and quick foot steps already clamoring across the hardwood floors below. Joshua emerged from the staircase and found it difficult to smile through the collection of tissues in his hand. He sat, attempting to enjoy Christmas morning as his family unwrapped their gifts. Drowsily he would present his siblings and parents their gifts. This had been a hard year financially so his presents required thought and careful planning and the reaction of his family would not disappoint.

It seemed that everything was winding to a close when suddenly his parents announced one last surprise. "Get up! Come to the bedroom," they said, essentially asking the impossible and with far too much enthusiasm for Joshua to handle in his present condition. But he trudged on a few steps behind his brother, Jordan. As Jordan entered the room all Joshua heard was, "No way." Joshua, suddenly intrigued, stepped into the room to find two massive flat screen TVs sitting on the floor with red ribbons attached. 

Growing up, Joshua's parents were never able to give his siblings and him this kind of a Christmas. It wasn't the TVs themselves that meant so much to him on that day. Rather Joshua knew how important and excited his parents were to be able to give such a gift. He wished he could show how truly appreciative he was to his parents for loving him so much. He also couldn't wait to be able to show that love for his own kids one day because he knew how much it meant to himself.

Part 2: Chapter 4: Exercise p. 110- "Mapping Home"

This is a map of my hometown with memorable or important points plotted out:

Here, I have taken the plotted points and connected thew in two ways. One with straight lines and one with hand drawn lines:

The image I derived from this exercise resembles that of a hummingbird in my opinion.

As I explore some of the connections that might help the hummingbird to serve as a wide emblem for my Mystory, I have gathered some basic facts. Hummingbirds' wings enable them to move in nearly any direction be it left, right, up, down, or even upside down and they can even hover by flapping their wings in a certain pattern. Their feet are only used for perching, not for walking or hopping. They have a fast heartbeat, breathing rate, and high body temperature that requires them to eat often. There are many species spanning a large geographic area making their population difficult to calculate. Hummingbirds are very territorial and can be found often chasing other hummingbirds and even hawks to protect their territory.

I find it interesting that hummingbirds must intake energy so often to keep up with the demands their bodies put on them. Being such small and delicate birds I imagine they can't stay still for very long without being targeted by other predators. Yet their intense flight forces the necessity to always look for food, which in turn requires more intense flight. There seems to be a vicious and demanding cycle on the hummingbird.

I feel that this relates to me in the sense that I know that I desire to be in ministry but to be in ministry, especially at the beginning, requires a lot of time and sacrifice without seeing that investment pay off for awhile. However I know it's necessary. Much like the hummingbird knows that it's necessary to keep moving even though the movement requires even harder work. I feel like I am in that same vicious cycle but I also know that I love ministry and helping others and serving for something larger than myself. So, I know it's all worth it. Hummingbirds must know that all of that movement is worth the sacrifice that's required to keep moving.